“Should I have a child or is it really just time for a puppy?”

This question may seem silly but there are some serious truths to consider before getting pregnant. I’ve seen too many people make the wrong decision when motherhood comes calling.

There comes a point in a woman’s life when she gets that urge to have children. I’ve seen women who have previously swore they never want kids all of a sudden change their tune. Sometimes that urge is woken by holding a baby and other times those maternal feelings just turn on overnight. It’s natural, it’s normal but it’s not always the right time.

There is a common myth believed by some women under this influence of desired motherhood. That myth is that a child will improve a floundering relationship. No matter how sensitive the guy, no matter how good a baby may sound to you, a baby only complicates existing emotional turmoil. Sister, if you’re not in a solid relationship, get a puppy. If you’re feeling lonely and unloved and feel a child will allow you to feel the love your other half isn’t giving you: get a puppy. Having a child to help loneliness will only isolate you more from your partner from whom you are already feeling distant from. Get a puppy. If you can’t seem to make it a day without an argument: get a puppy and then go to counseling. I‘ll say it again: Babies are a strain on a relationship and NEVER fix or alleviate problems between two people; they just add to them.

Kids aren’t easy. You’ll lose sleep, feel cranky, your social life will suffer, your finances will be tighter, you’ll worry more, your stress levels will be higher but in the end you’ll be happier. This is actually all documented by a 2010 survey of over one million people. Those with kids were happier than those without. We could theorize all day long about the reason for this; whether it be the rewarding hard work, the extra feelings of being wanted or needed or a thousand other things but in the end having children does improve one’s overall happiness. But so does having a puppy, which is easier to clean up after and train and a puppy you can give away if you need to (heaven forbid). A puppy requires much less financial input. A puppy doesn’t cause you to lose much sleep. A puppy doesn’t cause custody or child support battles.

I’m really not trying to sell you on having a child over a puppy or a puppy over a child. I’ve had both and both are great and both are a challenge in their own ways. I am saying though that if you’re not in a stable position in your relationship you should wait on having a child until things are stable. In my personal opinion a stable place in your relationship means you’re married. Children deserve to be in a home where there is love and stability. Choose wisely.

Sometimes the right answer is:  both. 🙂